the culmination of marital sexual intercourse

During caressing each other, both spouses intensify a feeling of mutual pleasure. To achieve that, they should be acquainted with the erogenous zones, which are stimulated to elicit the greatest pleasure „till they both, in turn or at the same time, come to the exciting moment when they lose themselves in their partner, when their bodies are interlaced. (...)  They discover, that they have been summoned from the deep down loneliness to enable the other person to fulfill the emptiness and become the entirety. (...) They discover that their corporal existence has been made to encounter the other person that one should care about” . The prominent American psychologist, May, on the basis of extended experience, pays attention to the fact that „the moment, which is the most important in loving each other, if we take into consideration things that people remember and dream about, is not the instant of orgasm. It is the moment of entrance, penetration in woman’s vagina. It is the moment which (...) shocks and has the features of miracle; it can be tremendous and magnificent, as well as, painful and despairing. Actually, it means the same. It is the moment, in which human’s reactions to the experience of love are the most extraordinary, unique, the most private. Hence, this moment, not orgasm is the moment of oneness” . The moment of penis’ penetration through vagina, gives a sense of security and being together; it delivers the happiness that is derived from an encounter. Being in a sexual fusion is of great importance when talking about refreshing and deepening matrimonial tie. In a woman’s body man can find some kind of a home – he goes deep into the warm and cozy place. Woman, when welcomes a man, wraps him in her in a way that only she can do, has a feeling of being fulfilled. Man experiences womanhood in his arms, woman experiences manhood. To be in a woman, man must make a move, his strength must be increased. However, this strength, to be fruitful, must be welcomed by a woman, who is open and hospitable. This intercourse demands courage, risk, and disinterestedness from them both. If spouses live in accordance with their nature, a man enters his wife’s body „pours in, to her, for her; she absorbs, embraces and closes him.”  

Excessive concentration on the physiological side of a sexual intercourse causes reduction of its most important elements. Reaching a climax does not constitute the standard that could be used as a measuring instrument when talking about quality of interpersonal communication.  Orgasm is a sensation, which goes together with a meeting, it completes this meeting; it grows upon a body, „gives expressiveness to an experience that is deeper and holistic. This experience could be called a unification of hearts . One cannot forget that a woman could be happy with her sexual intercourse even when she has not reached an orgasm . That kind of look on the matter of the most pleasant reaction of human body, indicates great (but not central) significance of this experience in strengthening matrimonial tie. The significance that is inscribed into reaching idealized orgasm is the source of distress, most of all for women . Focusing her attention on reaching an orgasm and evaluating the quality of intercourse on the basis of its intensity deprives woman of openness to a psychological experience of encounter with a loving man. It robs her of „the thing that she wants the most physically and emotionally: spontaneous surrendering to a man in the moment of orgasm. It gives her a shivering of tenderness and this is «the source of ecstasy». (...) Intimacy, meeting the other, growing and exciting closeness which is mysterious because one does not know where it leads, self-confirmation of own „I” and giving it to the other person – all those things preserve sexual experience in memory . For man, reaching orgasm is not the most important thing either. The most important is the awareness of his wife’s desire, her wanting to be with him, her inducing, encouraging him to do it . Satisfying this desire gives man the greatest sexual satisfaction.  

At the beginning of the 60s several scientific elaborations had been made, which made the revolution that changes the way of thinking about sexual intercourse. Among them, the work of William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson was of the greatest importance. It described an ideal orgasm . This work had a great impact on the knowledge of human’s sexuality. What had been realized was the fact that woman’s climax could be a much more common experience. It was a great discovery these days, when many women were characterized by a sexual frigidity. Consequently, people started to attach greater weight to accomplishing an orgasm. However, this discovery, popularized at the cost of certain simplifications, had its negative consequences. The wrong belief that experiencing an ideal orgasm is the measure of sexual health was spread quickly. Ideal orgasm’s description intensively started to form the reflection of satisfying sexual intercourse. Ideal orgasm became the image of happiness, which everyone should yearn to reach. Pleasure that does not give a sufficient satisfaction became a kind of disease, which one should treat. It had been recognized that it must be treated as a social plague and it must be eliminated. The problem is that this description, as every ideal description, is some kind of utopia, however, it functions in a social consciousness as an obligatory norm to these days . The fact that has not been taken into account is that every man has his own individual sensitivity and sexual dynamics, which must be respected. Since popularizing this type of believes many people have experienced great disappointment, comparing their own sexual life to the information taken from books. People have learnt to pay attention to the order, roles, time, frequency of particular intercourses – practices that are undoubtedly right but artificially normalized by the scientists.